This is what I hear:
Hi. I’m a computer running an operating system that is not designed for a physical mouse and keyboard and that has hardly any useful apps that makes those two non-native interaction devices a necessity. Nice to meet you, I am the Acer DA220HQL.
The original story said it would run on an Intel 4430 which would be more powerful than the computer I built my mom in February. Sadly, this $400 joke will be graced with something less than a Haswell, a TI 4430 ARM dual-core.